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Are you afraid of failure? This was the question asked to me last Thursday during my youth group on campus and it completely caught me off guard. Are you afraid of failure, that seems like a stupid question. Of course I am afraid of failure why else would I spend endless hours studying for a Spanish test that I can give two craps about other than the fact that I do not want to fail, and this actually applies to everything in life. Why do we want to make sure that we call the person we said we were going to call at the time we said we would, because we do not want to fail that person. Admittedly forgetting to call someone is not that big of a failure, but it is still a failure. So we take these let downs in put them in our closet of failures and try to come up with a plan in order to decrease our chances of failing once more.
I am a victim of this very thing, making plans. I like to make them and lay everything out and follow through with that. However, with that comes the concept of not getting everything done on that plan, which leads to me focusing on what went wrong why didn't the plan follow through etc. I never addressed this issue head on before, because who talks about their failures? They are like the ugly cousin in the family you don't let others know you are related to, so therefore you keep it in the closet and only deal with it when there is a family reunion or something. And, that is exactly what many of us do with failure we shove it to the back of our minds (try that is because who can ever forget something they failed at) and only bring it up when we have to. I feel as though this is an initiated by society though. You are constantly being judged on your accomplishments and how you compare to others. This begins the very day we are born. Just think the moment you are born the doctor is comparing you to other babies. Your height, your weight, your health and whatever else is on their darn checklist. The worse thing is if you don't meet all their requirements for a 'normal baby' then something is wrong with you and you have failed. Which is stupid because you can't compare one person to another. You can't compare one person's success to another. Why? Because you are judging one person's stage of life to another person's stage of life. You can't compare Bill Gate's bank account to mine because he has a successful career and I'm still trying to figure out the difference between the Spanish verbs Ser and Estar (I do realize a lot of my examples are based on my Spanish class, but that is because Spanish is a foreign b**ch that is getting on my nerves).
Since we are discussing the topic of failure I guess I should share a story of my own that has happen to me recently. As a college freshman I came into college with big Hollywood dreams of how it was going to be. I was going to become active. I was going to join all the fun clubs on campus and still have time to overachieve in my classes. I had a plan mapped out and there was no way it was going to go wrong. I had the perfect way of meeting new friends and stepping completely out my comfort zone. To be completely honest I was shooting for that 'IT Girl' spot on campus. I was going to wear those cute outfits and find that fine frat boy with brains and have the life that would be the envy of every girl on campus. However, reality is a whore and it likes to screw things and my life was its b**ch.
Are you afraid of failure? This was the question asked to me last Thursday during my youth group on campus and it completely caught me off guard. Are you afraid of failure, that seems like a stupid question. Of course I am afraid of failure why else would I spend endless hours studying for a Spanish test that I can give two craps about other than the fact that I do not want to fail, and this actually applies to everything in life. Why do we want to make sure that we call the person we said we were going to call at the time we said we would, because we do not want to fail that person. Admittedly forgetting to call someone is not that big of a failure, but it is still a failure. So we take these let downs in put them in our closet of failures and try to come up with a plan in order to decrease our chances of failing once more.
I am a victim of this very thing, making plans. I like to make them and lay everything out and follow through with that. However, with that comes the concept of not getting everything done on that plan, which leads to me focusing on what went wrong why didn't the plan follow through etc. I never addressed this issue head on before, because who talks about their failures? They are like the ugly cousin in the family you don't let others know you are related to, so therefore you keep it in the closet and only deal with it when there is a family reunion or something. And, that is exactly what many of us do with failure we shove it to the back of our minds (try that is because who can ever forget something they failed at) and only bring it up when we have to. I feel as though this is an initiated by society though. You are constantly being judged on your accomplishments and how you compare to others. This begins the very day we are born. Just think the moment you are born the doctor is comparing you to other babies. Your height, your weight, your health and whatever else is on their darn checklist. The worse thing is if you don't meet all their requirements for a 'normal baby' then something is wrong with you and you have failed. Which is stupid because you can't compare one person to another. You can't compare one person's success to another. Why? Because you are judging one person's stage of life to another person's stage of life. You can't compare Bill Gate's bank account to mine because he has a successful career and I'm still trying to figure out the difference between the Spanish verbs Ser and Estar (I do realize a lot of my examples are based on my Spanish class, but that is because Spanish is a foreign b**ch that is getting on my nerves).
Since we are discussing the topic of failure I guess I should share a story of my own that has happen to me recently. As a college freshman I came into college with big Hollywood dreams of how it was going to be. I was going to become active. I was going to join all the fun clubs on campus and still have time to overachieve in my classes. I had a plan mapped out and there was no way it was going to go wrong. I had the perfect way of meeting new friends and stepping completely out my comfort zone. To be completely honest I was shooting for that 'IT Girl' spot on campus. I was going to wear those cute outfits and find that fine frat boy with brains and have the life that would be the envy of every girl on campus. However, reality is a whore and it likes to screw things and my life was its b**ch.
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/6438958.png?185)
Life came in like a freakin wrecking ball and ruin my whole plan. High school did not prepare me for what was in store with these classes or the people that I will have to deal with here. The courses were beyond demanding and I had two papers due every week (no exaggeration right there, my psychology professor believed you wouldn't remember what you learned if you don't write about). On top of the stress of classes I had ignorant and disrespectful people to deal with both in and outside of my dorm. We all have probably encountered that person in our classes that feels like the whole classroom is for them. They answer every question and cut other people off. Hopefully, this type of person is not you because if so you have probably been brutally murder in the thoughts of your fellow peers countless times.
Nonetheless, I somehow manage to pull myself up by my bootstraps and make it through my first semester without snapping too quick on someone and passing all my classes. After that semester I figured I was getting the hang of this. Being the 'it girl' was no longer at the top of my to-do list (it's still there just on my dream to-do list). I revised my plan and was ready to hit the ground running next semester. Things went smoothly I was getting ahead in my classes, checking off New Year's resolutions, then March came. I like to think of March as the life altering month for me thus far. See March was like a mean bully to me. It came and knocked me to the ground hard and every time I would try to get back up it would knock me down again. Everything was piling up on me. I had school assignments due, call ins for work, personal life was up in a shamble, and free time was a thing of the past. I found myself in my own little world of chaos, but to make it worse I wouldn't let anybody in to save me or even help. I wanted to save myself, help myself, and in the process I was drowning. It didn't hit me that I was about to loss my breath until I received my grade so far in Spanish. It was a C and a few points from a D. Now, I know you may be thinking really a C like that's passing and average what is wrong with you. And, that's brings us back to the question of the day. I AM AFRAID OF FAILURE. A C is two letter grades from an a F aka a failing grade and I like to stay as far away from that as possible. Anyways after receiving this grade I kind of went into a mixture stage of depression and anxiety. I was depressed because this was going to bring down my GPA and how was I going to raise it up plus this was the easy Spanish and here I was making a C in it. The anxiety came in cause this was going to murder my GPA how was I going to become a competitive applicant for graduate school if I had grades like this on my transcript. I was a hot mess y'all so I did what any girl would do when she was in too deep and finally realize she couldn't help herself. I called my bestie, Buttercup.
Nonetheless, I somehow manage to pull myself up by my bootstraps and make it through my first semester without snapping too quick on someone and passing all my classes. After that semester I figured I was getting the hang of this. Being the 'it girl' was no longer at the top of my to-do list (it's still there just on my dream to-do list). I revised my plan and was ready to hit the ground running next semester. Things went smoothly I was getting ahead in my classes, checking off New Year's resolutions, then March came. I like to think of March as the life altering month for me thus far. See March was like a mean bully to me. It came and knocked me to the ground hard and every time I would try to get back up it would knock me down again. Everything was piling up on me. I had school assignments due, call ins for work, personal life was up in a shamble, and free time was a thing of the past. I found myself in my own little world of chaos, but to make it worse I wouldn't let anybody in to save me or even help. I wanted to save myself, help myself, and in the process I was drowning. It didn't hit me that I was about to loss my breath until I received my grade so far in Spanish. It was a C and a few points from a D. Now, I know you may be thinking really a C like that's passing and average what is wrong with you. And, that's brings us back to the question of the day. I AM AFRAID OF FAILURE. A C is two letter grades from an a F aka a failing grade and I like to stay as far away from that as possible. Anyways after receiving this grade I kind of went into a mixture stage of depression and anxiety. I was depressed because this was going to bring down my GPA and how was I going to raise it up plus this was the easy Spanish and here I was making a C in it. The anxiety came in cause this was going to murder my GPA how was I going to become a competitive applicant for graduate school if I had grades like this on my transcript. I was a hot mess y'all so I did what any girl would do when she was in too deep and finally realize she couldn't help herself. I called my bestie, Buttercup.
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/8435323.jpg?184)
I of course poured out all my problems to her like a good best friend would do and explained to her how I had reached a point in my life that I wondered was all this work and near panic attacks even worth it. And Buttercup usually has great advice, but this time she was in the same boat as me, and wonder too was it really all worth it? We as a society as people are always working at something to achieve something to become better at something. It doesn't necessarily have to deal with academics it can be something personal such as style and trying to become better at coordinating what you wear to here and there. But at the end of the day is it worth it? Is doing all this stuff really going to give us this feeling of happiness that we so desperately seek.
Now I searched long and hard for this answer. If I ever reach the top and live the life I always dreamed of will the struggle of getting there been worth it? The sacrifices that are made during this upward battle to success are they really worth making? Would this constant fear of failure that became the foundation of my drive to complete things really been worth the hassle. Or is my happiness right here, right now?
You see the month of March sat these questions in my lap and really made me reflect on my life and what I truly wanted out of it. Sure one day I want to walk into my closet and see it full of designer everything, but is missing out on the now the cost I am willing to pay for that? It is a hard question to answer because all my life I have been taught work now play later. But it hit me when is later? Nobody ever specified when later is, they just say later. It is one of those concepts that people never question. When you were younger your parents would say not now later, and that would be an acceptable answer for the moment. Then you would come back after a few hours or minutes depending on your patience level and asked the same question and receive the same reply, later. Later is that go to answer when you don't have an exact time to a question. But now is not. Now gives us an exact time because we all know when now is. Now is this very second, so why should I sacrifice something that I have with me this very moment so that I can try for something that I am hoping for in the future. It doesn't make sense because I can die this very second and later would never have come, but now would have and I would have done nothing with it, but worry about the future. I found a nice quote on Pinterest that explains what I am trying to say, "Do it now sometimes 'later' becomes never." We have to seize the moment now. Stop using the safe word of later to justify not doing things now. It hinders the enjoyments and adventures of life. I can testify to this, looking back on my high school career I saved a lot of things for the later department which never happen. I always wanted to attend a high school party (the classic Hollywood ones where the parents go out of town and somebody throws a party). Unfortunately, I always said I would get to that later, when I'm done with this assignment or this project. I kept pushing it back until it was too late. I had graduated and was no longer a high schooler. I was an adult and those high school parties were a thing of the past.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we should take advantage of the nows in our lives and choose to make those nows as happy as we possibly can. I'm not saying to stop thinking about the future, because every now leads to another now as long as our little hearts keep beating, but to handle it in doses. To remember that as you plan for the future you also have to enjoy the now. There are going to be failures in life, some bigger then others, but none the less a failure. It's going to hurt and you are going to want to shut the world out for awhile, and that is fine. We all need a little time alone just to reflect and recuperate from this on going roller coaster we call life. Being afraid of failure doesn't make you a horrible person, it just makes you human.
So that is what's been up with me in my life. Change. I've buckled myself up in my seat on this roller coaster and braced myself for the ride. Life can be scary, but remember on every roller coaster there is a seat next to you for a friend.
-Blossom
Here are some people who have failed at one moment of their life, but still went on to achieve great things:
Now I searched long and hard for this answer. If I ever reach the top and live the life I always dreamed of will the struggle of getting there been worth it? The sacrifices that are made during this upward battle to success are they really worth making? Would this constant fear of failure that became the foundation of my drive to complete things really been worth the hassle. Or is my happiness right here, right now?
You see the month of March sat these questions in my lap and really made me reflect on my life and what I truly wanted out of it. Sure one day I want to walk into my closet and see it full of designer everything, but is missing out on the now the cost I am willing to pay for that? It is a hard question to answer because all my life I have been taught work now play later. But it hit me when is later? Nobody ever specified when later is, they just say later. It is one of those concepts that people never question. When you were younger your parents would say not now later, and that would be an acceptable answer for the moment. Then you would come back after a few hours or minutes depending on your patience level and asked the same question and receive the same reply, later. Later is that go to answer when you don't have an exact time to a question. But now is not. Now gives us an exact time because we all know when now is. Now is this very second, so why should I sacrifice something that I have with me this very moment so that I can try for something that I am hoping for in the future. It doesn't make sense because I can die this very second and later would never have come, but now would have and I would have done nothing with it, but worry about the future. I found a nice quote on Pinterest that explains what I am trying to say, "Do it now sometimes 'later' becomes never." We have to seize the moment now. Stop using the safe word of later to justify not doing things now. It hinders the enjoyments and adventures of life. I can testify to this, looking back on my high school career I saved a lot of things for the later department which never happen. I always wanted to attend a high school party (the classic Hollywood ones where the parents go out of town and somebody throws a party). Unfortunately, I always said I would get to that later, when I'm done with this assignment or this project. I kept pushing it back until it was too late. I had graduated and was no longer a high schooler. I was an adult and those high school parties were a thing of the past.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we should take advantage of the nows in our lives and choose to make those nows as happy as we possibly can. I'm not saying to stop thinking about the future, because every now leads to another now as long as our little hearts keep beating, but to handle it in doses. To remember that as you plan for the future you also have to enjoy the now. There are going to be failures in life, some bigger then others, but none the less a failure. It's going to hurt and you are going to want to shut the world out for awhile, and that is fine. We all need a little time alone just to reflect and recuperate from this on going roller coaster we call life. Being afraid of failure doesn't make you a horrible person, it just makes you human.
So that is what's been up with me in my life. Change. I've buckled myself up in my seat on this roller coaster and braced myself for the ride. Life can be scary, but remember on every roller coaster there is a seat next to you for a friend.
-Blossom
Here are some people who have failed at one moment of their life, but still went on to achieve great things:
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/3023512.png?158)
Bill Gates' first business failed (yes the richest person in the world could not make any money)
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/9631411.png?139)
Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was four years old.
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/6800851.png?144)
Jim Carrey use to be homeless (it was a hard road to success, laughs don't pay bills)
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/2199129.png?148)
Benjamin Franklin dropped out of school at age ten.
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/4178003.jpg?160)
Stephen King's first novel was rejected 30 times (and now we can't go into a bookstore without some book that he might have written or co-authored)
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/8616632.png?131)
Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before creating the lightbulb (thank goodness he never gave up. Can you imagine walking down the streets of some neighborhoods in complete darkness?)
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/9425162.png?129)
Jay-Z couldn't get signed to any record labels
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/6074092.png)
Simon Cowell had failed at establishing a record company (I couldn't imagine a world where the X-factor and American Idol never existed)
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/7901670.jpg?137)
Charlize Theron witnessed her mother kill her father (no words).
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/3676554.png?158)
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he lacked imagination and creativity
![Picture](/uploads/2/6/4/2/26422725/3711635.png)
Jerry Seinfeld was booed off stage
Here's an inspirational video about living in the now: